How to write a eulogy
A eulogy doesn't need to sum up a whole life. It needs to help the people in the room feel who this person was, for a few minutes, one more time. The best ones are specific, short and honest.
A simple shape that works
- Who you are. One or two sentences: your name and how you knew them.
- Who they were. Not a résumé. The way they laughed, what they always said, what they cared about.
- Two or three small stories. A particular afternoon tells people more than a list of good qualities.
- What they gave you. What they taught you, or what you'll carry forward.
- A goodbye. Speak to them directly if you like. It's often the line people remember.
How long should it be?
Three to five minutes is typical, roughly 400 to 700 words. If several people are speaking, aim for the shorter end. Time yourself reading it aloud once at a calm pace; you'll go slower on the day.
Reading it on the day
- Print it in a large font with wide spacing, and number the pages.
- Mark a few places to pause and breathe.
- Keep water nearby, and look up at a friendly face now and then.
- If you can't get through it, it's okay to stop for a moment, or to have someone read it for you. Nobody expects a performance.
Questions people ask
How long should a eulogy be?
Most eulogies are three to five minutes when read aloud, which is about 400 to 700 words. If several people are speaking, keep to the shorter end. If you are the only speaker, eight minutes is fine.
What do you say in a eulogy?
Say who you are and how you knew them, who they were, two or three short stories that show what they were like, what they gave you or taught you, and a goodbye. Specific small moments say more than lists of qualities.
Is it okay to use humor in a eulogy?
Yes, if it sounds like them. A funny story that is true to the person often brings the room together. Keep the humor about their life and their ways, never about the death itself.
Is it okay to use AI to help write a eulogy?
A draft can help you get past the blank page, especially when grief makes it hard to think. Treat it as a starting point: read it aloud, change anything that does not sound like you, and add the details only you know.
Do you save what I write?
No. What you type is used to write your draft and is not stored. Copy, download or print your eulogy before you leave the page.
What if I break down while reading it?
That is normal, and the room will understand. Pause, breathe, sip some water and carry on. Printing it in a large font helps, and it is fine to ask someone to stand with you or to read it for you.
More free help: Obituary writer · Sympathy messages · Thank-you notes
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