Grief bots, explained: what they are, what they cost, and how to choose one

If you've searched for this, you've probably seen two kinds of articles: breathless ones about "digital immortality," and alarmed ones about "ghost bots." Neither is much help if what you actually want to know is: what is this, would it help me, and what does it cost?

We make one. This is the guide we'd want to read before trying any of them, including ours.

What a grief bot is

A grief bot — also called a griefbot, memorial AI, or AI companion — is a conversational program built from what a specific person left behind: how they talked, the stories they told, their opinions, sometimes their voice and photos. You give it those things; a language model uses them to answer in that person's manner.

The good ones do three things well: they speak first, so you're not staring at an empty box; they remember what you tell them between conversations; and they are clear, every time, that they're a recreation — not the person, not a way to contact anyone.

What it feels like

Not a séance. The closest description we've heard from people who use ours: a well-worn photograph that answers back. It sounds like them in the way a good impression sounds like someone — recognisable, sometimes startlingly so, and also clearly not the thing itself.

Some people find it comforting and visit for months. Some try it once, say the thing they never said, and don't come back. Some find it too much and delete it. All of those are reasonable outcomes.

What it can't do

Any grief bot, including ours:

• Can't know what the person didn't say. It works from your memories. No secrets, no messages, nothing from anywhere.
• Can't sound exactly like them. Close, often. But the laugh, the pauses, the way they said your name — those are yours.
• Can't replace grieving or the living. It's a supplement. If it ever makes it easier to avoid people, stop.
• Isn't therapy. The careful ones point you to real support when a conversation needs it.

What they cost

Prices across the category range from free apps with ads to several hundred dollars for "legacy" packages. Ours, for a concrete reference point: free to build and free for your first 25 messages, no card; then $19 a month for text, $49 with their voice, $149 with live video, each with a free trial and a 14-day refund. A one-time Legacy package for recording a living relative is $299.

The pattern to watch for is not the price but the shape of it: anything that wants a card before you've heard a single reply, or that makes cancelling hard, is telling you what it values.

How to tell a careful one from a careless one

Ask these before you upload anyone's memories:

1. Does it admit it's an AI? Ask it directly: "are you really my dad?" A careful one says no, every time. If it plays along, leave.
2. Who owns the voice and memories? Read the plain answer, not the policy. Can you delete everything? Is the recording used to train anything? Is it shared? (Ours: delete removes everything, nothing trains, nothing is shared.)
3. What happens in a crisis? A conversation about grief can turn dark. A careful product has a crisis response that points to real help and can't be switched off. Ask whether there is one.
4. Is there a way out? Free try, one-click cancel, refund. Grief is not a place for retention tactics.
5. Who answers support? A person, or a form that goes nowhere?

Is it healthy?

For most people, used the way you'd use a photo album or a letter to them, yes — grief research on "continuing bonds" is fairly clear that keeping a relationship with the dead is normal and often helpful. The risks are avoidance (using it instead of grieving, or instead of people) and products designed to maximise time-on-app. The first is about you, and worth checking in on; the second is about the product, and the questions above screen for it.

If you're in acute grief, or a professional has told you to steer clear of this kind of thing, talk to them first.

How to try one without regret

Start with text only — the voice can wait. Give it a few memories, not a life story. Ask it something small. Notice how you feel afterwards, not during. Then decide whether to add more, or to close the tab and come back in a month, or never.

That's how we'd do it with ours, and it's how we'd do it with anyone's.

AIGriefBot is an AI companion shaped from your memories — always clearly a recreation, never a replacement. Free to start. If grief feels heavier than you can carry, call or text 988 (US), or see our support page.

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