What makes a eulogy for your grandma different
You knew her later in her life, and usually in one place: her house. That's not a limitation, it's your material. The smell of her kitchen, the candy dish, the rules that only applied at Grandma's, the chair nobody else sat in. Details like these bring everyone in the room back to the same place at once.
She also had a long life before you. Ask your parents, aunts and uncles one question each: "What was she like when you were little?" or "What did she do before we came along?" A story from before you were born shows people a woman they may have forgotten she was.
If you're speaking for all the grandchildren, send your cousins a message and ask for one memory each. Reading out a few of them ("Sam remembers…, Lily remembers…") is a lovely way to include everyone.
A shape that works
- Who you are. "I'm Jordan, one of her eleven grandchildren, and she'd want me to say she loved us all the same."
- Her life before you. Where she grew up, the work she did, how she met your grandfather or the people she loved.
- Her house. One paragraph that walks the room through her front door.
- Two or three stories. Holidays, sleepovers, a lesson she taught you without meaning to.
- The family she leaves. Her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren: what she built.
- A goodbye. Something she used to say when you left her house works beautifully here.
Questions to get you started
- What did her house smell like, sound like, look like when you walked in?
- What did she always cook, bake or keep in the cupboard just for you?
- What did she say every time you left?
- What did she teach you: a card game, a recipe, a prayer, how to sew a button?
- What do your parents remember about her that you never knew?
Example passages to adapt
Swap the brackets for what's true about her.
An openingI'm [your name], and I'm one of [number] grandchildren who were lucky enough to call [her name] "[what you called her]." Before she was our grandma, she was [something from her early life]. I'd like to tell you about both of those women.
Her houseIf you ever went to Grandma's, you know: [the first thing you noticed]. There was always [something in the kitchen], always [a sound, the TV, the radio], and always a reason you couldn't leave without [eating / taking leftovers / one more hug].
A goodbyeEvery time we left, she'd stand at the [door / window] and say, "[her words]." So, Grandma, this time we'll say it to you. [Her words, back to her.]
If you're young, or nervous about speaking
Teenagers and young adults write some of the most moving eulogies, because they say things simply. You don't need fancy language. Write the way you'd talk to your cousins. Two minutes is plenty. Print it out instead of reading from your phone, and bring a parent or cousin up with you if that helps.
Questions people ask
How long should a eulogy for my grandma be?
Two to five minutes is right for most services. If her children are also speaking, keep yours to two or three minutes and let them know which stories you're telling.
Can I speak for all the grandchildren?
Yes. Ask each cousin for one memory and weave a few in by name. It makes the eulogy feel like it comes from all of you.
Should I mention her faith?
If it mattered to her, yes. One sentence about what her faith meant in her daily life, or a short line she loved, is usually enough. Check with the family or the officiant if you're unsure about the setting.
I'm a teenager. Is it okay if it's simple?
Simple is often better. Say who you are, tell one or two memories, and say what you'll miss. People remember honest words far more than polished ones.
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