What makes a eulogy for your grandpa different
Grandfathers often come with a story or two they told at every gathering: the time the car broke down, how he met your grandmother, his first job, the year everything went wrong and somehow turned out fine. Retelling one of those stories, the way he told it, is one of the best things you can do. Half the room will be mouthing the punchline with you.
He also lived a long life full of history. Maybe he served, worked a trade for forty years, moved to a new country, or built something with his own hands. You don't need a timeline. Pick the one part of his life he was proudest of and give it a few sentences.
Many grandpas were quiet in a crowd and different one-on-one: in the garage, on a boat, at the kitchen table playing cards. If you had that version of him, that's what to share.
A shape that works
- Who you are. "I'm Alex. He taught me to play cribbage and never once let me win."
- The life he lived. Where he came from, his work or service, the people he loved. A few sentences, not a résumé.
- His story. The one he always told. Tell it his way.
- What he was like with you. One or two moments from your own time with him.
- What he leaves. The family, the habits, the sayings that will outlast him.
- A goodbye. His own sign-off works well: what he said when he hung up the phone, or when you left.
Questions to get you started
- What story did he always tell? Who remembers it best?
- Where could you always find him: his chair, his workshop, the porch, the lake?
- What did he teach you to do, and how did he teach it?
- What did he do for work, and what did he think it meant to do it well?
- What did he say when he was proud of you, or when he hung up the phone?
Example passages to adapt
Swap the brackets for what's true about him.
An openingI'm [your name], [his name]'s [grandson / granddaughter]. Grandpa was born in [place] in [year], and he lived through [something big he lived through]. But to me, he was mostly the man in [his chair / his workshop / the boat] who always had time for [what you did together].
His storyIf you spent one holiday with Grandpa, you heard about [the story]. It always started with "[how he started it]," and it always ended with [how it ended]. I must have heard it [number] times. I'd give anything to hear it once more, so I'll tell it for him.
A goodbyeEvery phone call ended the same way: "[his sign-off]." So, Grandpa: [his sign-off]. We'll take it from here.
Getting the details right
Older lives come with dates, places and names that family members remember differently. Before the service, check the important ones (where he was born, when he served, how long he and your grandmother were married) with an aunt, uncle or his paperwork. The obituary, if one's been written, is a good place to match details. If you're writing that too, our free obituary writer can help.
Questions people ask
How do I include his military service?
A sentence or two, ideally through a story he told about it. If there will be military honors at the service, you don't need to repeat the details of his service record; focus on what it meant to him.
He told the same stories over and over. Should I retell one?
Yes. A story everyone has heard a hundred times is perfect for a eulogy, because it brings him into the room. Tell it his way, with his favorite phrases.
How long should it be?
Two to five minutes is typical. If his children are also speaking, aim for the shorter end and let them know which story you're telling.
What if I didn't know him that well?
Talk to the people who did. Ask your parents and his friends for one story each. You can say honestly, "I wish I'd known him longer. Here's what I've learned about him this week."
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